New Number in the Phone? When Do You Call?

By in Opinions,

This weekend went by – the first weekend that everyone is back for spring semester. You ran into your neighbors, your friends, your last semester hook-up, your ex and some new faces.

Although you were all about reuniting with your pack, you definitely wanted to meet new people and have some good clean fun with strangers. There is no better way to start off the semester – new friends, new hook-ups and new boyfriends.

You found yourself a little out of your element when you realized everyone around you knew each other, however it didn’t put a damper on your night. You met new people and even made some friends.

But how many times have we all woken up with new numbers in our phone and no desire to call those numbers once we’re sober? And what happens if we really hit it off with someone but didn’t get their number? Staying in touch with your new “friends” can be tricky. Oftentimes a phone call or text can have a weighty implication.

So you didn’t get his number. I guess it’s the high road to waiting until the next time you run into him at the same place, with the same people, and hopefully don’t appear to be looking for him. “Oh what a coincidence we are both here…again.”

Finally, a few nights later your new “friend” asks for your number, but you don’t take theirs. Always a smart move and one of my personal favorites.

Now you wait for a text or a call that may never come. What would it say anyway? “Hey thanks for letting me stay in your bed until 5 a.m., we should do it again sometime?”

Sending something cute may seem forward so staying out of contact appears to be easier. After all, no one likes rejection and some people just can’t be bothered. The irony sets in when you see his face in one of your classes. Now you see him every few days, but the context is all wrong.

You find yourself questioning your next move. If you want to see this person again, how do you initiate contact without appearing clingy? I guess you’re left to wait around until you run into him in the right context.

That context is always a social one that most likely involves alcohol. I guess we are all cowards by day and Casanovas by night.

What if you made the mistake of exchanging numbers? That’s a whole new ball game. The silent rules of contact play out differently here.

Who will contact who first, if at all, and what does that mean? You can’t text the next day because it’s too soon and it will appear too non-casual.

You always want to appear cool and on top. That means if he doesn’t text, you don’t text him. This can turn into a messy test to see who can keep their cool the longest.

The only casual alternative is running into this person at the same place the next weekend, and once again, hoping it doesn’t seem like you’re there to see him.

Unfortunately that’s what the rules of dating have come to. We can’t just say what we want to say when we want to say it. Of course things have to be complicated.

Hooking up has changed everything. Above anything else, being nonchalant and careless appears attractive. It’s ironic that we have to appear distant to the same person that was oh so close last night.

In addition to all of the crazy unspoken rules, there is a crazy double standard. For example if the guy you hung out with last night shows up at your door the next day he appears cute and desirable. If a girl does the same thing, she is viewed as clingy and overbearing.

I guess we have come to appreciate space, even when we wish to be closer. This is the world of no commitment fun. But wouldn’t it be nice if we knew that a person acknowledged our existence? Sure they will take notice next weekend, when the time and place are just right and they happen to have a beer in their hand. How convenient.

Photo courtesy of Demandvideo.com

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